Happy Birthday Mom, Thanks For Teaching Me This
My mom would have turned 70 years old today — but she passed away last year from health complications.
If I had to describe my mom in a word, I’d probably use fierce. If I had two words, I’d say fiercely principled.
She had a sense of right and wrong. Of fair and unfair. If one of us (there were 4 kids and my dad) were in the wrong, she would rain down truth on us like an Alabama thunderstorm. She wouldn’t take crap from anybody. Not even from people in power. Especially not from people in power.
I’d be lying if I told you were a bit scared of my mom because in truth, we were terrified. She wasn’t violent or anything, but boy was she vocal.
I like to think that I have a decent sense for right and wrong. I got that from my mom.
What I don’t have, that my mom just wasn’t able to impart to me during the 50 years we had together was the recognition that you have to stand hard for what you believe in. Too often, I have a pretty clear sense for what is right. And a lot of the time, I will advocate for it. But, I do so in an almost pathologically polite way. I don’t want to make trouble, stir the pot, or unintentionally offend someone (even if they’re totally wrong). It’s not in my nature. It’s never been in my nature. And, that’s a flaw.
I wish I had my mom’s courage and conviction. She wouldn’t back-down when she knew she was right.
Being polite is admirable but sometimes you have to push for what is right. Especially if it’s pushing someone you love in the right direction.
Miss you, mom. Thanks for (literally) everything. I promise to try and push harder when it’s the right thing to do.